Don’t Focus On Distractions, Focus On Life!

Avoid dwelling on the negatives

Too many times we wonder what our Life could have been like now if we had not allowed a situation from our past that we did not enjoy to affect us so adversely. We let negative thoughts manifest and become part of our make-up, instead of focusing on what we have now and where we are headed in our journey of Life…

All of us have experienced this type of negative maifestation at some point in our Lives, and without any guidance from a person trained to deal with this, it is very easy to fall into the trap of self pity, doubt, fear etc.

• Why do we do this to ourselves?
• Did we not choose to experience this negative reality to learn from it and move on?

I have asked myself this question many times in the past, especially when I look at my childhood years and suddenly start to feel those negative emotions coming back, the ones that I have had to endure and work through that saw me being bullied and teased constantly, especially during my teenage years. There is an old saying that goes `Sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me.” Well its easy to say this if you are not on the receiving end of the name calling, but at some point anyone being victimised is going to start believing what is said about them in the negative, thats just how it is for the majority of us who have been there.

How negative thoughts affect our health

As if that whole experience was not enough for me, I discovered that I was a Polycystic Kidney Disease patient in my early thirties, surrounded by grief, despair, doubt and anxiety.

• Is it possible for any of us to really understand the reason why we all would purposefully choose negativity over Life?
• Are we so short sighted to think that by following the negative route, we will get the sympathy of others lending us their support.
• Somehow we believe that by making others reach out to us, that they will absorb our problems into their daily life and offer us a solution in return? 

In my quest to overcome this situation once and for all I decided to actively embark on a path of positive energy, sharing this thought channel with whoever I meet in my day to day activities. Now see there, the words `I decided` are the key to our change in focus. I could have chosen negativity because of everything that I had experienced, however, I chose to change my path and focus on what positive message I can take from all these negative experiences. 

Dealing with negative situations

Now if you dont have someone to turn to to help you through any negative situation, it can cause you to bottle this all up over a period of time which is not the best way to deal things. On the outside you appear to be normal but inside you are hurting and the pain just keeps getting worse. It is true that not everybody wants to speak to someone to help them through any situation, and that they would prefer to tackle this in their own time at their own pace. That person needs to be left alone to deal with their personal issues and only they can determine what is right for them, just like the troubled individual seeking guidance from another trained professional. 

On the other hand, you have to also be careful who you turn to for help. If that person you are pouring your heart and soul out to is saying things like, “That sounds terrible and I can sympathise with you, however it does not come even close to what I was put through,” then this alarm bell must be an indication to you that you are unfortunately in the company of someone who is working through negative emotions at the time as well. This is a recipe foir disaster and you need to act quickly otherwise those experiences that you are trying to deal with are only going to become more difficult to overcome.  

Avoiding distractions

In my Lifecoach sessions with my Clients, I look to see how you can overcome the negativity surrounding you and replace it with the Life that has been given to you to enjoy. This approach is a team effort and will not work if either one of us resists that urge to accept the past and welcome the future. So the bottom line here is…dont give in to distraction. Because ultimately all of these negative emotions you are feeling is just that! A distraction from what experience is really waiting for you to go and enjoy.

Forrest Gump compared Life to a box of chocolates with a different experience just waiting for you to discover, as each chocolate contained in this box takes on a different shape and taste. I agree with this analogy but would like to go on and say that Life is also just like a Novel that you are writing. You are the Author, Lead Actor and Publisher of your own Life experiences throughout your journey. Just like the choclolate box, you get to choose what you want to experience and you need to be feel good about your choice, knowing that you have made one that is always going to always work out for you. Your aim should be to become a Lead for those around you, especially those who are looking for guidance and support from someone who will be able to assist them in their own Life’s journey.

Set your focus, brace Life and it will give you everything you have ever wanted and more.

Go out and Live your Life now.