Finding My Work/Life Balance: A Life Coach Reflects

This is going to be a long one! Reflecting is one thing. In our heads it seems to happen in a heartbeat. Putting pen to paper seems to take so much longer!

Five Years Later – This Life Coach Reflects

The mind is always ticking away. Lest we forget, it will remind us from time to time that it’s always processing something.

At the back end of January I realised (in one of those light bulb moments) that it was exactly 5 years since I’d started to take care of myself – inside & out.

Around the same time lots of little inspirational snippets began to catch my eye about focus, priorities, journeys, steps, time, sowing seeds, etc.

Then, finally, there was a BBC article on the current state of health in the UK. There was also a Harvard Business Review Blog about blocking out time in your diary for you. And, funnily enough, it was the blocking out time article that finally led me to writing this blogpost, for it was that very approach I took in the beginning for getting me back on track with me.

Hopefully by now a picture is emerging of the pieces coming together in a way that triggered this life coach to reflect upon his own situation and how over time much can change for the better once you apply some focus.

And so, on-&-off since January, I have sat back and been astounded about how much has changed between 2008 & 2013.

Fundamentally, I think I’ve been rebooted! And to coin some sort of journey-esque phrase: You don’t know how far you’ve travelled until you turn around and look back.

Perception: What I See Is Not What You See. I See So Much More!

This 5 year spot-the-difference embodies a complete re-wiring of what I think and how I operate. The upshot is that the inside and the outside are more in line with each other.

Yes, I am pleased that I look better but, more importantly, I’m healthier than I’ve ever been. The word ‘healthier’ embodies my mindset as well as what I do. Therefore, this transition represents several things:

• Learning to listen to myself – in all aspects of my life.
• Making educated choices – about all areas of my life.
• Regularly re-grouping with myself and my priorities – to maintain focus, again, in all areas of my life.
• Finding positive supportive people – to help me achieve what I want, oh again, in all areas of my life.

2008: So Why Did It Start?

I was nearing the BIG-4-0  with the inevitable milestones assessment that comes with it. I knew I needed to shift the emphasis back to what was important to me. I was stressed, tired, frustrated and living other people’s priorities. On the outside everything was fine or, at least, good enough. But inside I had become somewhat more of a state than a positive status.

So there came a point back in 2008 where I wanted:

• To decompress – stress levels were through the roof and being tired & run down the norm.
• To become healthier – meaning more energy & lightness within.
• To become fitter – feeling good for my age, agile, strong and appreciating that I have a good way to go yet.
• To re-locate for a while – moving away from London was increasingly on my mind. I lived in a great City but the sum of my use of it was the office, the tube or taxi and my sofa.
• To look at other ways of working & enjoying life at the same time – I no longer wanted a traditional career. I wanted a portfolio of interests that mattered.

Although materially quite happy with my lot, in many ways what I wanted was less and I needed that less to be of a better quality.

As I began to think about each aspect of what I wanted, a plan began to evolve.

For me, it was evident from the start that to make these changes I had to begin again from the ground up. From the inside out. Get me right, get the rest right.

This plan has continued to re-shape continuously over the last five years as I have continued to learn more about myself, my situations, my reactions & my experiences along the way. Strangely enough, the goals haven’t changed. From time to time I may need to re-prioritise various parts of myself or my plan but I still get to where I want.       

2013: Where Am I?

• Not stressed – I like to put pressure on myself but that’s about what I want, not what people want of me.
• Healthy – I enjoy healthier food options & to be active. If I go off-piste I know why, ‘fess up and move on. People spend too much time beating themselves up. Better to own up and to own the solution, too.
• Living on the English South Coast – on the beach, full seaviews with The South Downs National Park behind me and still with great access to London

These first three things continue to be the mainstay of creating a healthy, healing & positive environment for myself.

This may make me sound like a nature loving,  eco-foodie but I’m really not. I simply feel better and thrive in a nice environment with the knowledge that eating well most of the time plus regular exercise serves me better than sitting in an office, commuting on the train, eating al-desko and rewarding myself for all my self-imposed fatigue with a nice tub of Haagen Dazs as a night-cap.

Add to that:

• I have re-trained and through that I am wiser to who I am and what I need.
• I am not afraid to think, review options, act and even fail.
• Coaching & mentoring; people’s personal development is what interests me most & how they apply what they learn.
• Understanding the value of my money/finances/career. Going solo just as the Financial Crisis hit us all in 2008 was a bootcamp exercise in “adapt, adapt, adapt”. There is no doubt I got the portfolio lifestyle I wanted and through it I value what I do, what I have and where & how I spend my hard-earned cash now more than at any time.

Many A Wise Word

In one form or another, you will have already seen or heard what I’m going to put here. This is what has worked for me.

1. Eat well. It’s as quick, if not quicker, than fast food to make a bloody nice meal
2. Exercise. Sorry, we’re built to move. Move! Chairs are silent killers
3. Feeling better allows you to think clearly and more positively
4. Thinking clearly allows you to plan better and to investigate options more creatively
5. Exploring options is exciting. Expect to fail in some and to grow in others. Two steps forward & one step back is still progress
6. Find your balance of thinking & doing. But do both in some measure
7. Be around people who allow, assist & insist that you grow. They, too, will benefit from the best you possible
8. Be emotionally intelligent. Both you and life have multiple levels, facets and dimensions. Being systemic, holistic, targeted, ebbing, flowing, having peaks & troughs are all inevitable. Handle them with respect. They each have meaning, purpose, time & place through which we develop & improve
9. Learn to sit with yourself. Once you are happy with you, you can face anyone and be happy in any situation
10. Time is on your side, not against you.

Parting Words

What are you doing to better your work/life balance? Have your say below.