Law of Attraction: Learning to Forgive

In understanding how to teach forgiveness, and how to teach it using the law of attraction, I do believe that one should have some experience in applying it to their own situations.

Why were they “getting away” with it, and why was I so angry?

I have been studying this law since before The Secret came out. I had a lot of frustrations and negative feelings toward my immediate family about how I had been treated growing up. Like many others, we felt and knew that we were treated unjustly and somehow wanted the perpetuators to either acknowledge their wrongdoing, give a sincere apology or feel the nasty effects of Karma at her best.

But, unfortunately this was not happening and I felt as if they all were “getting away” with major wrong doings. I lived my daily life as a stay-at-home-mom who in the meantime festered with a resentment that seemed to choke me at my core.

Why did it seem that the perpetrators were living care-free, and I was angry all the time?

Trying to prove myself through my accomplishments

It was due to a lack of resolution and lack of acknowledgment that I was NOT who they tried to make me out to be! I felt slighted and the need to prove myself manifested within me. My attention soon became focused on how I could prove them wrong through my accomplishments.

But when I thought hard about my actions and why I was taking the steps, I realized that it was deeper than what I thought. No matter how much I accomplished, I never felt as though a breakthrough was made with my family. I was still seen through distorted perceptions and this left me very angry.

Turning inward to study myself

This was when I made the decision to turn inward and study myself, “In the meantime”, as my role-model, Iyanla Vanzant would say. I had to look at why this anger followed me everywhere, and why what my family thought about me, bothered me so much. I also had to feel my emotions and pick each emotion out… and why I felt that emotion.

This was really digging deep, but it showed me that what I was feeling was just the surface of the hidden truth underneath the emotions. By acknowledging this ever-pervading negativity in my life, surrounding my family, I was able to box it in so I could study it like a virus, to which I was looking for the anecdote.

I realized I had to “capture” this entity rather than to fight it or ignore it. Both of which do not give me any power, but instead drain my power and allow the exponential growth of the negativity due to the fact that it “lingers” within. This will leave a constant open door for the subconscious to dwell on the negativity whenever faced with a “trigger”.

An epiphany

As I embraced these emotions, and why I felt them, I asked myself “and what does this say about who you are (in their eyes)?” The lesson I soon began to receive from the universe was that ultimately I was trying to prove “that I did deserve their love and acceptance; I was smart and was beautiful”. 

The reason I REALLY was angry was because I did not really believe this about myself without their approval.

Can I say epiphany?

This lesson continued on, and I learned that my “identity” has nothing to do with how others perceived me. For we all know that each of us looks at the world through our own unique lens.

When I understood that I needed to reprogram my internal thought life, to positively understand that I am an individual (who is beautiful in God’s eyes), those invisible expectations that my family always held over my head, completely disappeared.

It was me who needed to change

The tide had turned. It was me who needed to change, and I did.

• I began to research about my own femininity and ask myself how I wish to present myself to the world.
• I bought a full length mirror and looked in it every day, solely to point out my best qualities.
• I always made my hair beautiful and studied secret beauty tips of models until I perfected them.
• I got in shape to feel good and bought a new wardrobe.
• I took time every day to research about the mind, spirituality and behavior. This gave me a foundation of who I wanted to be. 
• I also got my degree in the healthcare field and provided for my babies.

All these acts DEMOLISHED any possible thoughts that I ultimately was unworthy. Why? Because I now felt worthy to myself and was able to project it effortlessly both to those who knew me and to strangers.

The lesson the universe was trying to teach me through my emotions was: Be happy with who you are, not what others want you to be. But first, I had to embrace that which was hard to see, yet destructive. Then allow the “lesson” to be taught, followed by determined action to change those habitual “lies” of being a victim.

I was able to let go of the anger and forgive my family.  In the process, I blossomed into a beautiful woman, mother and wife, determined to help others move through life’s lessons to draw in all blessings of the Universe and God-essence.