Fulfilling the Vow: Super Saver versus The Big Spender
One married a SUPER SAVER while the other married a spender! The Guide to Compromise!
Money is one of the many reasons that couples struggle in their relationship and even worse do not survive! We get accustomed to handling our finances as we always had before being married and it’s hard to break out of those habits and conform to habits that fit your married lifestyle.
Here are 3 things you can do RIGHT NOW to get out of your financial tug-of-war with one another and back on the same team!
1. Sit down & make a plant together
Each of you should have personal money as well as being able to financially maintain your household successfully. I cannot stress enough the importance of gaining balance in this area of your marriage.
Create four bank accounts.
- 1. and 2. Both of you will have a personal bank account that is off limits to the other. It is your “freedom” funds. Freedom funds are used at your personal discretion without the approval of your partner.
- 3. The 3rd account is for bills only. Determine what your monthly bills are and distribute the payment of those bill equally and fairly according to the amount each of you are paid.
- 4. The 4th account is for savings. Determine how much you each can put into this account that is solely used for saving money. Set an amount and how often each of you will contribute to this account. If you are thinking that you aren’t able to do this, then see where your “wants” are excessive and cut them. The mission is to get into a better place financially together.
2. Remain open & honest to each other
A marriage is not the arena to have “secret” funds. You guys are on the same team so why are your finances a secret? This department screams I CAN/T TRUST YOU. That is a separate issue to discuss.
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When you set clear boundaries for each other, there is no reason you shouldn’t be able to sit down together and know each other’s finances. If you want to set a rule that your personal account amounts are not being disclosed then that is fine; however, you should know each other’s salary, bonuses, and commissions… things of that nature so the splitting of bills and saving obligations can remain fair.
If one of you is a big spender, this will cause you to make better financial decisions because you have your partner to hold you accountable. The only money that is accessible for spending is what you have saved in your personal account.
3. Help each other not hurt each other
Both of you have something to teach each other. One may hold onto money very tightly thinking of the future while the other chooses to splurge and live for right now.
It is up to both of you to help each other find balance.
Don’t criticize how the other lives financially, instead see how you are able to integrate each other’s styles to make personal financial improvements.
It’s true that saving is important but it also important to treat yourself occasionally. It is equally important that you should save and prepare for your future or a rainy day!
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Being in a marriage with someone who is completely opposite than you gives you the opportunity to learn an improved way of living while embracing each other’s differences!
If you want to get more from your life, and are looking for concrete action steps to get you there, check out our Request a Coach page. It’s a “cut the fence-sitting and take action” way to tackle your issues and actually find success. You’ll be matched with the coaches most suited to you to get you from where you are to where you want to be. To get off the fence and start to take action, click or tap here.
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